Self motivation and self-improvement are extremely important topics. This is especially true when it comes to relationships. Without a doubt, in any relationship you will have to change something to make it better. If we take a good look inside we will all find things that just plainly… suck. I can assure you that you are not the only one that sees these things. In relationships some of these things might end up being small annoyances, but others will be obstacles to higher levels of fulfillment and intimacy. But how can we change these things? Some of which you even consider as cornerstones of your personality?! The answer only comes after understanding why you want to do it: your self motivation, your intention.
Intention is the beginning of any cycle of action. So you are flippant about your spouses’ emotional sensitivity… she finds it offensive… This is a real obstacle to intimate connection. If something doesn’t change this could turn into a real relationship killer. So should you change anything? Why? What are the consequences of not changing? Can you envision these consequences? On the other hand, What are the benefits of changing? Can you envision a new you? Can you envision the benefits? When you clearly understand and believe that the balance tilts towards a need to change your motivation is born. The next step is strengthening it.
So how do we do that? There are several ways, some more common than others. For self motivation, we look at pictures that are inspiring, purchase products like t-shirts, coffee cups, and calendars that have motivational sayings, cut out magazines with pictures that remind us of our end goal these are all reminders of the original motive.
When you really want to change something, taking the time to go through your original analysis on a daily basis will help strengthen your resolve. A good exercise is as follows:
- Think about the thing you are doing that you want to change.
- Ask yourself why it’s necessary to change?
- Follow it in your mind to its last and most severe consequences.
- See how that makes you feel…stay there and sense how uncomfortable that is.
- Now think about a situation where you have made the change.
- See the positive consequences of this.
- See the effects on your loved ones.
- Bask in the feeling of this new vision of yourself and your surroundings.All this exercise does is set the right mood in your mind to… you guessed it… take action!
YOU must take ACTION!
When individuals set off on their endeavor of increasing their motivation level, they normally do everything but the one thing that they need to do – take action! Many will take the time to analyze their current situation, plan what they must do to make the change in their life, and even organize things a little bit, but they fail to make it to the last, final, and most important stage – ACTION!
It is my belief that when we can’t take action it is because we have not fully analyzed understood and digested the reasons for our behavior and the consequences it entails. There is some missing element that we have not had the presence of mind to see… Continue your self motivation soul searching while deciding to act.
There is an important quote that was once made by the actor Jonathan Winters regarding what we need to do when it comes to taking action in our lives, and in our relationships. He said: “If your ship doesn’t come in, swim out to meet it”.
In John C. Maxwell’s book called “Winning with People”, he mentions what he calls the “101 Percent Principle”. If you are seeking to increase the effectiveness of your relationships, you should consider the basis of this principle, which states: “Find the 1 percent we agree on and give it 100 percent of our effort”.
Do you want to improve your relationships? Do you want to find the motivation to change? Find that one percent that you have in common, and give it one hundred percent of your effort! Take actions and reap the benefits of results!
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